A sister’s love runs deep
I’ve been kind of MIA the past 2 or so weeks because I was enjoying the last part of my sister’s vacation with me. Before June 27th of this year I hadn’t seen my younger sister for about 4 and a half years and we just came into contact about 6 months ago.
Why so long you wonder? Well, my sister and I (and mother) went through a pretty traumatic death in the family- the death of our step-father who we considered more of a father than step-father. I was young but my sister was younger and I can’t imagine the impact it had on her. In a blink of an eye we lost everything we had, including each other. Her father gained custody of her and I was old enough to tell the court I wanted to live with my mother so our separation started at that point. At the time I was a teenager and was dealing with my own issues so I feel (as I’ve said before) like our split made more of an impact on her than it did on me. This is not to say that I didn’t miss her but as you know, when you’re a teenager, your mind is elsewhere and you don’t take the time to appreciate the important things. We saw each other every now and then through my high school years because when she spent her every other weekend with us with my mother who was living in the city at the time. When I graduated high school, we all traveled to Florida and little did we know that would be the last time we’d see each other for the next almost 5 years.
I’m not going to go into detail of exactly why we lost contact because it is not my place to tell my sister’s story and struggles but I will say that it was because of her father. He was/is… well, if I could put it in one word, I’d call him the devil. Any way, he made it so we no longer could keep in touch and then just like before, in a blink of an eye we lost each other. 4 years went by where I wondered how my sister was doing and where she was… if she was okay. I went through many life changes without her including getting married and having a baby- things that siblings should be present for no matter what. I missed her- a lot. I had tried finding her on facebook before and sending her messages on her myspace but I never got any responses. This time I was determined to find her because I couldn’t imagine going on in life without her anymore. I wanted to experience life with her and I’d do whatever it took to get in touch with her again.
So how did I find her? I went onto her Myspace, looked at her pictures, saw which one of her friends commented the most on her pictures, then copied and pasted her friends name into Facebook. I found her friend then looked through the girl’s friends and found someone with the name of Jacqueline but a different last name. I clicked on the picture and ironically, the photo didn’t show her complete face- only the bottom half. But I instinctively knew it was her because of her cute beauty mark on the right side of her mouth above her lip (kind of like where Marilyn Monroe has hers). Straight detective status!
I couldn’t believe it. 4 and a half years of no contact and there she was– only a friend request away. From there it’s history and we can happily say there will never, ever be another time in our lives where we wouldn’t know where each other was. I was able to get her over to me to spend the summer with me and even though we lost contact for so long, when we reunited it was as if no length of time was ever between us. Of course things were different because she is, well a woman now (last time I saw her she was 13 or 14, now almost 18) and so am I but the love was still as pure and simple as it was before.
I’m so thankful I was able to spend the last month and a half with her because she is such an amazing person! I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who has gone through such terrible, evil things to come out with such compassion for the world around her. What a special, big heart she has. I know every day is a struggle for her and most of the time she doesn’t see happiness or success in her future but I wish she could see what I see when I look at her. She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met and I know one day she will be truly happy and successful. One day she’ll look back at this time in her life and see it as just a growing pain. I’m so lucky to have such a special person as my sister and I’m so proud of her (as I’m weaping, writing this) even if she doesn’t see herself as special.
I took her to the airport yesterday and it was difficult to say good-bye but I have to remind myself it is just temporary. When she graduates she may move over here and we’ll house her until she can get her two feet on the ground and become the independent person she longs to be.
It just proves once again to never take for granted what you have. Love the people close to you so dearly and don’t ever stop.
I love you Jacqueline! There is light at the end of the tunnel, just don’t give up because you’re so close.
Until next time,
Loriel – Healthy Roots, Happy Soul
Loriel, beautiful blog. One of my favorites…..
Ok, now I’m crying again. I knew your next blog would be about your sister and I’m so happy you have your little sister back in your life (I’m so happy about having my niece back in my life as well).
Love to both of my nieces!
Thanks Paula! I thought it was only appropriate to post something about her visit. I love you!
That was really touching. It brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy you have been reunited! Congratulations 🙂
Thank you Jackie! It means so much to me to have spent that time with her. 🙂
Hey, I was reading through all of your blogs over the past year..I am so proud of you. You’ve become one of the most inspirational people I know and I wish I was more like you (I always have though..since I could remember. I even remember wanting to be your twin when I was little). I regret so much in life already but I’m using it to recognize what I want out of life. Things got really out of hand after since I saw you last, it took a year to get as low as I could to become a better person. I ruined things with mom, with you and really everyone I know. I’ve been fixing it slowly. I want to be close to the people I feel I should be.
I’m still sober!! I’ve even shopping for the food we eat, healthier ( as organic as I can for now). As in I buy no more frozen foods and cook everything we eat. Use organic sugar and salt, and butter. I want to be better with this and I need your help! Going to trauma therapy.
I miss you a LOT. And reading this made me cry and cry. I want to see you again soon. It makes me sad I’m not seeing Andrew grow. I can’t believe he talks now I want to hear his voice and see what he’s like. He seems so smart!!!!!
You’re the best mother I’ve ever seen and Andrews going to e such an awesome person. I hope to be like you when I’m a mom.
Gah!!!! I’m so proud of you.
I’m sorry about the distance and everything I should be sorry about. I appreciate you so much, just your existance! Gives me hope. I want to talk more.
I love you!